Be Better

Do you want to be better? How big is your capacity to give and share? 

It’s easy to become complacent, to forget how lucky we are to live in a country like Australia. But my experiences in Cambodia remind me that our actions and decisions have the power to make a big difference in the lives of others, and only we get to decide the impact we want to make. 

One kind gesture can create a ripple effect that has the power to change lives. It was a gift from Nary, one Christmas in Cambodia, that has had a lasting impact on me. 

I spent Christmas morning in a cafe enjoying noodle soup and drinking a divine chocolatey-tasting coffee, reading letters from friends and family back home. I then returned to the centre to spend the afternoon with the young women, and told them about Santa and reindeers, and how in my culture we get together and give each other gifts at Christmas. While I’d planned to have Christmas Day off, there was nowhere I’d rather be than with them. I gave each woman a small Christmas gift; pen, pencil, packet of crayons, writing pad and sketch pad. I wanted them to have something of their own, and a way to express themselves, should they want to, whether it be through writing or drawing. I also took them lots of paper and paints to share, and quickly discovered some of them were incredibly talented.

Nary gave me a teddy saying it was my Christmas present from her. She was incredibly insistent, and wouldn’t let me leave that day without it. 

Knowing how little these women owned I was very aware that for Nary to have this little teddy meant it had been with her in the brothel. 

These women owned very little, and I mean very little. They each had a plastic bag, and in that bag was the uniform they wore for their vocational training, plus a second set of clothes made by the sewing students. The only other clothes they possessed were the ones they were wearing the day they were rescued. And so Nary had a teddy too – and she had just given it to me!

I didn’t want to keep it. I felt that it was hers and it should stay with her. I thanked her for the gesture and told her it was beautiful that she had just offered it to me and that I’d treasure that feeling forever, but the teddy was hers and she should keep it. But Nary was insistent. 

Her teddy sits on my bookcase behind my desk, a constant reminder of Nary, and her capacity to give and share and love.

Nary’s teddy, the only item she possessed, is filled with all the emotion I need to fuel me. It teaches me to be a better person, and it has played a significant part in keeping other girls safe, as it serves as a constant reminder of all the children and women still enslaved in brothels, without a teddy to love. 

I’m a work in progress when it comes to the capacity to give and share. I’m not good at sharing my food, and I don’t think I’d be good at giving away my only item. But my Khmer team continues to reinforce what I learnt from Nary and her teddy. When one of them has a mango, they slice it and offer it around – not much comes back when one mango is offered to a team of twenty! I am not good at sharing. I’m definitely a work in progress when it comes to this capacity to give and share.

Nicky Mih believes in our capacity to live and lead differently. Her book Do What Matters: what leading a child protection organisation in Cambodia taught me about life and leadership is an Amazon #1 best seller in the categories of Business Ethics and Business Leadership. Do What Matters is available on Amazon and freetoshine.org/dowhatmatters